How to Stay Motivated: Don’t Get Glad. Get Mad

Don’t Get Glad. Get Mad.

I know this blog typically talks about getting success and being happy so the advice I’m about to give you will probably be a bit shocking. But I ask that you bare with me….

Getting to success usually takes a lot of hard work, determination and motivation. Now if you are like most people, you usually feel the most inspired and motivated to make a change after something negative happens. For example, you feel motivated to work out more after you realize you can no longer fit in to those size 10 pants. You feel motivated to ask for a raise after your boss decides to  add another duty to your already heavy workload. Or you feel motivated to get your finances in order when you get that last phone call from Sallie Mae about your student loans. In each scenario, the motivation was triggered by one thing. Anger or some other unpleasant feeling. You hated how it felt realizing that you put on weight, or in major debt, or not making what you are worth so much that you vowed to do something about it. So you buckle down for a few weeks and do everything in your power to make sure you never experience that again.

But then you start to feel content with your life. That’s when you begin falling off the wagon. You stop getting up for the morning workout. You stop entering purchases in to your spending journal and you stop drafting a way to better position yourself for that raise. You’ve lost that angry feeling, become content with your life choices, and basically settled. Most importantly, you lost your motivation. Of course, you’re gonna stop taking steps to make that change. You have become complacent with your life.

Don’t feel bad. You are not alone. It’s a trap that many people find themselves in way too often. Even I am guilty of it every now and then.  Luckily, there is a simple way to fix this and regain that motivation. (This is where the shocking advice comes in.) Allow yourself to get mad. Yes, you read that right. Stop getting content and allow yourself to stay mad. Once you lose all the unpleasantries and bad feelings associated  with a certain life aspect, you no longer feel the need to change it. Why would you? If you are content with it, you don’t have  a reason to fix it. I challenge you to regain that motivation to get back on track.

So how do you do that? Allow yourself to relive the moment that first motivated you to change. No, I don’t want you to harp on the past, But give yourself that constant reminder on why you are altering your lifestyle or habit in the first place. Every so often, revisit the day you realized you could not fit into size 10 jeans as you stood alone in the dressing room feeling defeated. Or save that  unappreciative voicemail from your boss and replay it every time you need a kick in your pants to keep striving for your goals. Do whatever you can to keep that fire within you burning. Once the fire goes out, motivation and all hope is lost. Luckily, it can always be reignited. Get mad again and I guarantee that passion and motivation will make it’s way back to you in no time.

Whatever you do, ignore the Gladware slogan. Instead, Don’t get Glad. Get Mad.

What do you usually do to stay motivated? Has revisiting anger helped in rekindling motivation?

TERRIfic Quip: If you blame lack of motivation as your reason for not taking action – you’ll be stuck forever. (Courtesy of Miss Donna)

The Best Christmas Gift of All: Encouragement

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So there’s six more days till Christmas and you’re a little panicked. I would be too if I still couldn’t find the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop for family member. Plus there’s no guarantee I would receive online orders in time for Christmas. At this point, most people would tell you to channel your creativity while you make shallow and pathetic attempts to make something. But for those of you who are really desperate and know you’re as coordinated and creative as your children’s math homework, I’m going to tell you the one gift that is even more meaningful than any DIY project or store bought gift.

One word. Encouragement.

You’re probably scratching your head right now. But the truth is, so few know how to be truly encouraging. When encouragement is offered, it always seems to come with some kind of stipulation.

“You want to be a writer. That’s great. You should do it. I just hope you’re not a starving artist.”

“Oh, you’re starting a business? Congrats! Be prepared for some loss. You should do it though.”

“Training to be a chef is so hard. You can do it as long as you take it seriously.”

“Good luck with paying all your student loans this year. You’re gonna need it. It’s practically impossible.”

While these phrases may be said with good intentions, (or so we hope) they carry doubt and the dreaded “but” with them. And even when attached to encouraging words, that “but” can really put a damper on the receivers spirit. I know because I’ve been there before. I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, “Good for you. But you can’t make a living from that that.” or “Wow I can’t believe you’re writing an ebook! I think you should do it. They are much harder to sell than traditional books though.”

Of course, hearing these things definitely bothered me for a bit. Luckily, writing was something I knew I always wanted to do whether or not I had anyone’s approval. However, I did have the approval and encouragement of my parents. I remember the day, I told my mom that I wanted to quit my job to be a writer. I was still living in my parents’ home, struggling financially, and had a bunch of student loans to pay for. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous telling them my plans. Much to my surprise, I got words of encouragement rather than words of concern and non-support. The words my mom uttered, meant the world to me.

“Go for it. I always said you can create your own opportunities.” 

There wasn’t a hint of doubt or a shadow of disbelief – only genuine encouragement as I took on the biggest risk and scariest chapter of my life. She could have said to me that writers never make it. Or she could have also reminded me that I must still find a way to pay back my loans. But she didn’t. Somehow, she knew I was well aware of what I needed to take care of. But she knew that I needed her support more. Little does she know  that small phrase is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. I take her words with me every time I need to conquer a new challenge or each time I’m faced with a business related fear. And my father has been just as supportive since I’ve started this journey.

No, their encouragement wasn’t a Christmas gift per se. But it was a much needed gift at the time. I recommend it, because it is the one gift that can change a person’s world forever. Encouraging words have the power to last a lifetime if you do it right. They won’t die if the battery runs out of life, and it won’t break if you drop it. Deliver it with love and it will stay in the receiver’s heart forever.

So how do you do it? Eliminate the doubt, slash the “what if’s” and sprinkle it with loads of love, sincerity, and pure belief. Do all that and  you’ve got the making of a Christmas gift that would go down in history.  Best of all, it’s priceless!

What was the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received? Have you ever been on the receiving end of true words of encouragement?

TERRIfic Quip: Don’t wait for it. Create your own opportunities.

On Your Way to Success? Get Organized!

Many of us have big dreams of owning new businesses, losing tons of weight, making lots of money, and becoming famous

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dancing in our heads. We are  determined and dedicated to getting it done, but then we recognize all that is involved. Yet, we never lose hope and are dedicated to tackling each aspect necessary for claiming success. After taking a quick perusal of our goal’s requirements, we draft a plan and quickly start on track. And then things start to go wrong. You recognize that you routinely forget your bottle of water before your morning jog. Your spending journal got left behind in your other purse and you are constantly forgetting who you needed to call to confirm that business meeting.

Don’t feel bad. It happens to the best of us. The truth is the road to success requires a bit of sacrifice, determination, and organization. While many have no problem mastering the first two requirements, they seem to fall behind in the organization department. There is no way you can keep track of your meetings, diet requirements, and important tasks without a little bit of organization. Trust me. I tried it and it didn’t work. So because I want all of you to succeed, I decided to let you in on a few products and strategies that have helped keep me organized on the right track towards success…

Stickies on Desktop or actual Stickies – You all know how I love using post-it notes to lift my spirits and remember motivational quotes, but what you didn’t know is that I love it for keeping track of tasks, bills to pay, etc. I usually leave them on my refrigerator or computer screen. From time to time, they’ll pop up in my wallet to remind of things. For the high-tech people, you can utilize the popular Stickies program for Mac. It allows you to type up notes and “stick” them to your desktop. You can stick them according to priority and  they dissappear as the task is completed.

Spending Tracker 1.3.1 MH Riley Ltd – We’ve all heard that having a spending journal can totally transform your financial situation. It starts out well, but then you soon find yourself forgetting to enter in a purchase when you get home or lose the receipt before you get to record it. The Spending Tracker app gets rid of that problem completely because it’s right on your phone! It allows you to record entire purchases, categorize, enter bills, and make memos for each expense by month. The best part is that you get a pie graph showing you exactly where your money is going once you turn your phone sideways! It’s amazing.

Dry Erase Calendar  – Keeping track of bills is difficult. No matter how good you are with money, it can be bit a of a challenge to stay on top of the student loan bills, mortgage, electric bill, car payments etc. And if you are like me, you probably hate making those “automatic payments” in which the company connects to your bank account. That’s why I like to use dry erase calendars to track payments. I keep it right on my refrigerator, that way I can’t miss it.

Miche Bag:  Ladies, how many times have you switched purses to match an outfit only to realize you forgot to switch your planner along with it? Or maybe it was some other important object needed for the day… Miche bags eliminate that problem. There is no need to switch purses completely for the purpose of fashion, because the Miche bag allows you to switch the outside appearance of them! Simply swatch the outside “shell” to match your outfit of choice. Now you no longer have to worry about forgetting your precious planner, cell phone, etc. in your other bag all in the name of fashion. The Miche bag is all you need!

Flexi File Organizer – Having a file folder for each important document isn’t enough. You’re bound to confuse placements of each file, and lose them. Plus, separate files folders usually result in more clutter. Instead, invest in a flexi-file organizer to keep all your important documents categorized in the same place. Things will never get misplaced, and you will be more inclined to take important documents when needed if it’s in an accessible and easy to carry file such as this.

What ways do you stay organized as you work towards success?

TERRIfic  Quip: The difference between want and need is self control.

Why Your Dream hasn’t Become Reality… You’re Full of Excuses

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By now you probably know that I’m all about living your dreams and finding happiness. I believe more than anything that we are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Most importantly, we CAN do the impossible.

So you can probably imagine how frustrated I get whenever people tell me why they can’t do something to fulfill their dreams. The stories are always the same…

“I couldn’t draft my business plan because I got home late from work.”

“I didn’t finish my inspiration board because I had to drop my daughter off at dance class.”

“I couldn’t reach out to my mentor because I had way too much homework to do.”

“I never made it to the library because this week has been too busy.”

“It’s been so crazy at the house lately so I didn’t get a chance to draft my marketing plan.”

Warning: I’m going to be really honest with you and maybe a little brutal. But while those may sound like valid reasons to you, they sound like excuses from someone who doesn’t want success as much as he/she claims to me. After all, if it’s something you really want you would find away just like all those people jogging in the morning find a way to work out.

Do you really think all those people really like getting up at the crack of dawn to go once around the track before a long day at the office? Do you think they don’t lead busy lives and have schedules to manage? Chances are they do. The only difference between them and you is that they actually care about making it to the finish line. They aren’t waiting for the perfect moment. They go out and create it. Trust me, they have the right idea. The perfect moment isn’t going to just appear and there will never be a moment that just feels right when it comes to chasing success.

Those joggers in the early morning know that their time is now. They also know that their busy schedules will probably always be busy and life happens. But they took the right approach. They found a way to work around that busy schedule to inject some time towards making their dreams a reality.

Think about it. You will probably always have to make dinner for the family. Your daughter will never stop needing motherly advice. The bills will always need to be paid and you will always need to run weekly errands. So what makes you think free time will magically appear and you will suddenly be blessed with a wide open schedule to pursue your goals next week, or next month, etc? Do it now! Take a cue from those A.M. joggers and find a way to fit it into your schedule.

We need to stop blaming everyday facets of life and universal forces as the reason why you can’t take another step towards claiming success. Things will spin out of control from time to time and the universe will make you go crazy. Don’t let that stop you. Own it and work around it.

After all, there is never a better time than now to better your future. Repeat after me: “Today is the day I do the impossible!”

Do you often find yourself waiting for the perfect moment to work towards your goals and coming up with excuses?

Terrific Quip: If it’s something you want, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.

5 Types of People You’ll Encounter on Your Way to the Top

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For the last few weeks, I’ve given you several reasons why you should stop everything and just follow your dreams. I’ve also let you in on ways to stay happy. But what I haven’t told you about are the types of people you’ll run into while chasing your dreams and leading that happy life. Some of them are good people. Some of them are bad people. And some of those people are just there. Regardless of what role they play, you should be aware of them. That way when you do cross paths you’ll be prepared. Here are the five types of people you will encounter on the way to your top…

• The Parent – Ok, so you know the song “Parents Just Don’t Understand”?  Well, the same concept applies when you are in the process of dream catching. Parents mean well and most of them support you in whatever you set your heart on (as long as it’s legal.)  But when you tell them you are taking a leap of faith to pursue your passion, the amount of support you expected may not be there. It’s not because they don’t believe in you. It’s just because they are scared for you and their natural instinct is to protect you from the unknown. They only want what’s best for you. The best way to deal is to reassure them of your skill and drive. Otherwise, it may be best to ignore the “words of concern” to keep your insanity. You may also want to keep some major hardships to yourself. After all, you wouldn’t want to put your loved ones in a coma caused by an unnecessary overload of worry.

* This person isn’t always an actual parent. It may be someone who is like a parental figure.

• The Clueless One – So this person is clueless but doesn’t know it. They’re the ones that keep pulling facts out of their butt’s in regards to your new endeavor and spewing them at you whether they’re welcomed or not. No one knows where these statistics are coming from but it doesn’t stop you from hearing it. Sometimes these tidbits of advice, statistics, and facts of life are completely baseless and sometimes theres some truth to them. Take it with a grain of salt and/or take it upon yourself to do a little fact checking just to save face. I’m going to assume that this one means well. They just happen to be well, umm… clueless.

• The Naysayer – Whether or not you’re a dream catcher on the way to your top or an average Joe just doing what he can to get by we’ve all run into this one before. It’s the never have anything good to say, down on life, can’t catch a break, poor soul that always has something negative to say. You could have just landed the tv role of your dreams or won the lottery and this person will still find a way to rain on your parade. My guess is this person saw their dreams crash and burn in a horrific death and wants to spare you the pain. The other possibility is that they’re afraid you’ll actually do what you say you’ll do. So how do you deal with them? You know what they say… Never get talked out of your dreams by someone who gave up on their own. 

• The Impatient – They stand by your side, and scrimp and save with you when you explain you can’t afford to do something. They are completely supportive of you but now they are tired. Tired of the skipped dates, tired of the sacrifices and tired of staying in all the time. Chances are they support your ambition, but don’t understand the time and sacrifice it takes to accomplish your goals. As long as your dreams don’t cut in to their social time and their selfish needs they’ve got your back. Otherwise, beware of the whiner. The truth is most people don’t understand how demanding dream catching is. The probably never well unless they are doing it themselves. I say make new friends with similar goals. But that doesn’t mean you have to let go of the ones you already have. After all, it could get pretty lonely at the top so make sure you keep your support system close.

• Miss Done it All – This girl is absolutely amazing. She’s been there. Done that. Got the t-shirts and the awards to prove it. She’s been where you are and is a wealth of knowledge. More specifically, she IS who you want to be.  When you get near her, you go into a shock. Not because she’s scary, but because you can’t believe you have actually come this close to royalty. So what do you do? Don’t let the moment slip away. It’s the perfect time to channel her genius. Flatter her and find out what steps she took to make it to the promise land.  But don’t be overly intrusive and remember to say thank you!

What other types of people have you encountered on your way to the top and  how did you deal with them?

TERRIfic Quips:  The more you love your decisions, the less you need other people to love them.

The Reason Why I Love Rejection (And Why You May Start Loving it Too)

“Thanks but no thanks.”

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“I’ll pass.”

“Not interested.”

“It’s not right for us.”

These are all words I hear on almost a daily basis. Most people will cringe and sink further into their seat if they saw these in their inbox everyday. But I love every single minute of it. It’s not because my favorite word is no. (It’s not.) And it’s not because I enjoy failure. It’s because every single one of those rejections I stumble upon in my email is a little glimmer of hope that I am getting somewhere.

Let me explain. I work in the media. A majority of my day is spent sending out cold pitches to magazine editors who don’t even know I exist. This happens to be the routine of millions of other freelance writers around the world.  That means editors get hundreds of emails sent to their inbox on a daily basis by people they don’t know. Chances of them actually opening my email are slim. But every once in a while a miracle happens and an editor glides her coveted mouse over to my email and opens it. Now most of the time, I get nothing in return. If I’m really lucky I’ll get a glowing response that says, “I love your idea. How about writing for the upcoming mother’s day issue for $2.00 per word.” But most of the time, if I get any response at all it’s, “I’m not interested at this time, but thanks for thinking of us.”

Of course, I would have preferred to get the uplifting response offering me an assignment. But I’ll take the rejection email too. Although it’s not as obvious, the “bad” email means something too. It means that out of the hundreds of emails the editor got she thought my email pitch was worth opening. And even though the pitch wasn’t worthy of publication she did think it was worth a response. She could of easily deleted my email and went on her way without giving me a second thought. But to that editor, I was more than just an anonymous girl who sent her a failed pitch. I was a girl that took a chance and at least deserved a response. It was proof that I must have done something right. More importantly that rejection was the beginning of a new relationship.

See, I knew that if that coveted editor read and responded to one email the chances of her reading and responding to another one of my emails was heightened. So rather than taking that rejection as a sign of defeat and failure, I flip it and turn it into the beautiful beginning of a new relationship and a dream. It’s my cue to start pitching and emailing that editor as though my life depended it. Even more importantly, it’s a sign to not give up. And nearly 100% of the time, those signs are correct.

It was a few months ago that I got my my rejection letter from an editor at REDBOOK magazine. I didn’t give up hope. I continued to forge a relationship with that editor through consistent emails and conversations. And then one day, a dream came true. I was offered my dream assignment and my article was featured in the August issue of REDBOOK.

Just goes to show you that my favorite words to live by are true. You can’t fail if you don’t quit. And to think it all started with a rejection letter…

When was rejection a sign of better  things to come in your career or personal life?

TERRIfic Quip: When things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.

Be all that can you can be… on Facebook

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Ok, I’m sure you’ve seen all the reports by now. “Facebook leads to depression.”  “Facebook is used to steal your identity.”  “Facebook can stop you from landing that job.” “Facebook can break up a marriage.”

Yes, all of those can be true… if you act like an idiot on Facebook. Other than those fine perils if I act out of stupidity, Facebook has reaffirmed that I can be anything that I put my mind to. Let’s reflect for a moment. How often do you see a status that totally doesn’t align with the person you know him or her to be in real life? We all know that person who  knows nothing about science but feels the need to update their status about the weather every hour on the hour as though they are a meteorologist. Or you’ve probably had  a run in more than once with someone who is consistently cursing, sleeping around, and always drunk but feels it’s necessary to quote bible phrases as a status everyday. Wannabe preacher? Or what about the girl you went to school with who has no fashion or beauty sense and never wore heels a day in her life, but constantly uploads pictures of herself everyday as though she is a hot new model?

Naturally, when people see things like this on Facebook a few things come to mind. They sometimes run along the lines of poser, wannabe, and faker. I  admit I used to be one of them until I realized those so called “fakers” had the right idea… sometimes.

Basically, I’ve learned that in order to accomplish something you have to believe you can do it. Much more than that you need to see yourself doing it. Fake it till you make it. It’s what we do when you pad your resume a bit when you’re trying to get that dream job. It’s what you did when you created that Youtube account to document all the songs you’ve written and composed througout the years. And it’s what we do when you attempt to win contests in which you have to demonstrate your expertise in a certain subject through a personal essay.  It turns out that’s what those posers on Facebook are doing. They’re faking it till they make it. They just happened to use a slightly more annoying approach. (I’m not going to lie. It still does annoy me from time to time.)

How often have you heard the phrase, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.”? Or what about my all time favorite from Sister Act 2 “If you wake up in the morning and you can’t think of anything but being a singer, you’re a singer.” And we all know that for some on Facebook, the first thing they think to do is update their status with whatever prolific thing that comes to their mind. No, it doesn’t always mean that they have nothing better to do with their lives other than give their “friends” up-to-the-minute weather reports. It could mean that they are taking Whoopi Goldberg’s advice to heart and realizing that they are indeed a meteorologist, motivational speaker, etc.

Those “wise” Facebook friends are simply taking control of their own futures and doing everything in their power to turn their aspirations into reality. Perhaps, we can learn a lot from them… If all their annoying updates, hypocritical statuses, and plagiarizing song lyrics simply means that they are “dressing the part” and/or “faking it till they make it”, I can certainly like that.

In what ways do you fake it till you make it? Has Facebook helped you become all that you are capable of?

TERRIfic Quips: Always wear your invisible crown.

How to Ruin Your Life in 15 Easy Steps

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Much like the great depression, this year seems to have brought about lots of depressed, hopeless, and poor people. Even after losing their jobs, health, and all sense of stability, those lucky losers managed to gain the sympathy of America, government assistance and tons of time to wallow in their pathetic lives.

Want to reap the many benefits of ruining your life too, follow these easy steps and you’ll soon hit your rock bottom…

1. Sell yourself short.

What’s the point in valuing yourself if you are going to get paid less than you are worth anyway? And why bother challenging yourself if you are probably going to fail. Face it –  even if you do try to reach your “full potential” you aren’t going to get paid for it. If you are content with your current level of mediocrity, there’s no need for you to not jump at every chance to make less than minimum wage.

2. Listen to the naysayers.

They’re the ones who have seen and done it all before. They are wiser, richer, and smarter than you and they still had to give up on their dreams. So naturally you should listen to them when they tell you you’re dreams are impossible. After all, they’ve got years of experience to back up their negativity. They know what they’re talking about. You’d be a fool not to listen.

3. Don’t take risks

There’s is a chance you will fail. That’s the thing about risks. The smart thing for you to do is to not to take chances. This way you guarantee that nothing will happen to you. Ever.

4. Listen to the statistics

Sure those depressing statistics are always about other people, but it’s a good indicator of what’s going to happen to you. Why should you expect to start a successful business if 50 percent of them always fail within the first year? With so many records of failure, it’s obvious that’s going to happen to you someday. Numbers don’t lie.

5. Follow the crowd

There’s a reason why loads of people are all doing the same thing. It’s because it’s the right thing to do. Think about it. If it’s a dumb thing to do why would so many people be engaging in it. It’s time to join the herd and follow suit. If you don’t know what to do follow the way of the crowd. They won’t steer your wrong.

6. Quit after the first attempt

If it doesn’t work out the first time what makes you think it will work on the second, third or fourth attempts. Nothing is going to change and you’ll only continue to get negative results. The best thing for you to do is to quit while you’re ahead.

7. Live in the past

There’s nothing better than reliving the best moments of yesteryear on a recurring basis. There’s no point in striving for the best if it’s probably going to just fall flat of what you’ve already done. The best days of your life are already behind you. Live it over and over again.

8. Resist change.

You know how the saying goes: If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. There’s no need to waste time improving aspects of your life if you are already content with the way things are. You don’t have to change just because the world around you does. Stay the same. Change and progress are overrated.

9. Do only what is required of you.

Don’t bother going above and beyond the call of duty. After all, you aren’t getting paid for it. Your hard work isn’t going to get recognized and you’re probably just going to be taken advantage. So go ahead and just do the bare minimum. People probably aren’t paying attention to you anyway.

10. Have a sense of entitlement

You’ve got a college degree, six years of management experience and awards behind your name. Of course, you deserve to get a six figure salary at the new company even though you’ve never worked in the industry before. They’d be fooling themselves if they think you don’t deserve at least $100,000 to start. You need to refer those human resources professionals to your resume again.

11. Only chase the money

Who needs a life of meaning, happiness, and fulfillment when you are filthy rich? Sure you feel your life is void of purpose and you have no companion, but it’s ok because Lincoln, Benjamin, and Jackson have become like family to you. Luckily, that’s all the family you need.

12. Wait for things to happen to you

Patience is a virtue. There’s no sense in going out and making things happen. Things will come to you in due time. So rather than tiring yourself out by being proactive, you should probably try doing nothing. Good things come to those who wait.

13. Bite the hand that feeds you

The only way to get anywhere in life is to step on the hands that helped you rise above your obstacles. Don’t feel bad. If they were smart they would have tried to help themselves instead of helping you succeed. It’s every man for himself these days. You never asked for those handouts, so they shouldn’t expect anything in return.

14. Ignore the opportunities

After all, they are almost always too good be true. You’re better off questioning everything and being skeptical of all seemingly good things that come your way.

15. Ignore all your mistakes

Whoever said you can learn from your mistakes was seriously mistaken. After all, you’re just going to continuing making new ones as long as you live. So don’t even bother owning up to the mistakes you’ve already made. You are only bound to repeat them.

All jokes aside, your life is truly what you make it. I’ve learned that negativity only brings more negativity. As children, we’re taught that nothing is impossible. The key is to remember that as adults. Happiness is a choice. Even a few bad choices won’t make your life a terrible one unless you decide to.

What steps have you taken towards ruining your life lately? 

TERRIfic Quip: If you want to see a miracle, be the miracle.

Life isn’t Fair… So Why isn’t it?

You don’t have to be a wise old sage to know that life isn’t fair. Unfortunately, it probably never will be. How many times have you

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been passed up for that academic scholarship you know you deserve when the dean’s daughter always gets it? Or how often can you recall always having to clean the dishes after your youngest sibling made the mess. Yet he got to watch cartoons all day while you were slaving away. Or what about last week when the police officer clearly racially profiled you and pulled you over because you just so happened to to match the description of the person who stole a car last week? The list goes on and on.

Being the optimistic person that I am, I would love to say that these “injustices” will end someday and life will soon be fair for all. But I have to face the fact that it probably won’t. I’ve sat there and pondered why we all can’t have the lives we’ve hoped for. I’ve pondered the reasons why the person who follows all the rules and works hard just can’t catch a break. And I’ve tried to make sense of the reasons why all my prayers don’t come true. Then it dawned on me. Maybe life isn’t fair because it’s for the best. Perhaps, it’s because we’re destined for something better.

Remember that post where I mentioned I didn’t get that raise I knew I deserved and how unfair the entire situation was? Well, I didn’t realize it then but not getting that raise was the best thing that ever happened to me. Of course, my heart was broken after all the hard work, preparations and prayers I put into work performance so I can earn the raise. I was driving around a beat up 97 Ford Escort, and had student loan bills I couldn’t afford just piling up. If there was ever a moment I felt life wasn’t fair that was it. But it took that realization of an unfair moment for me to do something about the situation.

I was struggling financially and mentally with little hope for growth and improvement for a position I only liked. I thought, if I was going to struggle I might as well be struggling for something I loved. And that’s when I took the biggest risk of my life by quitting my job and embarking on my journey to freelance writing bliss. It was time for me to take control of my own salary, my own mental health, and my professional growth. Taking that risk was one of the best things I have ever done and I owe it all to an unfair life and lack of a raise. I’ve learned that life isn’t supposed to be fair. Sometimes we need those unfair moments to motivate us. Sometimes we need those unfair moments to realize that we are settling or that we are destined for something better. Or sometimes those unfair moments are there to teach us that we should be happy with what we already have. Whatever the reason, I am happy life isn’t always fair and that I don’t get everything I ask for.

Aren’t you happy you don’t always get what you want? Is there an unfair moment that ended up being rather helpful? 

TERRIfic Quip: Everything is cracked. That’s how the light gets in.

How a Post-It Note Changed My Life Forever

I love Post-It notes. I also love inspirational sayings and motivational quotes. Together this makes for an unhealthy obsession.  Luckily, it’s an obsession that seemed to turn my life around.

You see, I’m the type that has to write things down. If it’s not written down, it’s not getting  done. Therefore my Post-It Notes became my to-do lists, shopping lists, bookmarks, and bill organizers. Somewhere along the way, task orientated notes turned into inspirational notes the day I was surfing the web and found a quote I liked and wanted to remember for a school project some years back. I stuck the Post – It note with the phrase to the inside of my textbook. A few days later, I opened my text book after a really hard day to study for a test I was nervous about. As I cracked opened the pages, I came across the note I originally wrote that said, “Happiness is a choice. Choose wisely.” At the time, the note didn’t hold much significance. It was just a cute distraction from my studies, but from that moment I was hooked. I began sticking notes with motivation and inspiration in various places. In my lunch box. Under my book. In my wallet. In a notebook. In my underwear drawer. You name it; I put a Post-it note  there. My logic was that it would provide for a great pick me up when I come across one of my own hidden notes. If I was already in a good mood when I found one, it would just be a pleasant surprise. Little did I know how powerful, my surprise messages would be until a few years later…

I remember the day so vividly. It was another day at my dead end job that I merely liked. The only things that kept me going were my  coworkers and the promise from my boss that in six months I’d get a raise. So when six months came I was prepared with a speech to get the raise I was promised. I put on my most professional attire, rehearsed my lines, and walked into my boss’s office only to get rejected. I didn’t get the raise, but I did get more vacation time. (Yippee. Because an extra week of vacation was really going to help pay the bills!) Ten minutes after getting rejected for the raise I was promised and deserved, I got a phone call from my best friend telling me she just got promoted. Needless to say, I felt like a loser. Of course, to make matters worse I was reminded that my Citibank Student Loans were due.

I held back tears as I reached into my purse to pull out my checkbook and sign the check for hundreds of dollars and my life away to the devil. As I opened my checkbook, I was confronted with my fears, the reality of my bank account and the truth… Because there within my checkbook held the words I needed to see so badly… “Hang in there. You are stronger than you know.” At that moment, I dried my eyes of my tears and smiled because I knew it was true. It didn’t matter that I didn’t get a raise. It didn’t matter that I was drowning in student loan debt. And it didn’t matter that I was losing myself in a job that I didn’t love. I knew that I was destined for better and I would overcome my situation because I can do the impossible. My entire perspective on life had changed in that moment because I finally had faith in my strength. I began putting my life in motion to improve my situation and things have never been the same since then. It’s only gotten better…

Who knew an obsession with post-it notes and motivational quotes could do so much? I didn’t, but sure glad I started it. To this day, I still continue to hide notes with inspirational phrases and get just as moved and excited each time I find one. It’s one addiction I hope never dies.

Do you have a favorite quote that inspires and motivates you? 

TERRIfic Quip: On the other side of fear lies freedom.