Archive for ‘WON: Words on Nuptials’

August 15, 2012

Contribute to my New Book!

What should you say? Everything you’re not supposed to!

Remember when I blogged about the first ebook in my series of 100 Things you Should Never Say?  (If not, you can read it here.) Well thanks to the success of the first book and request of many, I am now following it up with one for the brides. Because we all know that brides do get out of line even though it’s their day. Of course, it’s not always because she is a bridezilla. It may simply be that she doesn’t realize what she is saying or doing is wrong. (Let’s not act like we’ve never been on the delivering end of an unwarranted comment that we never even realize was rude.) It’s never fun having to pull your foot out of your mouth; especially when that foot is dressed in picturesque pearl white, four-inch stilletos.

So it’s definitely time we keep these brides from experiencing a world of pain by preventing any feet inserted into mouths.

Stop bridal diarrhea of the mouth and let me know what shouldn’t be said…

Here’s what you should do:

1. Brainstorm those crazy, off-the-wall, funny, or just plain rude things you’ve heard brides say or things you haven’t heard but know they shouldn’t say.

2. Send an email to terri@writingbyterri.com  with the subject line saying What Brides Shouldn’t Say.

3. In the email, state the phrase or question that should never leave a bride’s lips and why.

4. Include your information such as location, profession, or relation to weddings (i.e. wedding guest, bridesmaid, photographer, groom, seamstress, etc.)

5. Wait for my feedback

It’s that simple! And no, you don’t need to be a wedding pro or expert to join in – just someone who can recognize the crap that leaves a brides lips from time to time. Looking forward to reading your suggestions!

What things do you a think a bride should just never say?

TERRIfic Quip: Silence is the most powerful scream.

June 26, 2012

The Most Epic Wedding Save-the-Date Ever!!!!

Ok, well maybe it’s not epic. But it is pretty TERRIfic. That’s because it’s the save-the-date for my upcoming wedding so obviously I’m a little biased. I am ecstatic to say that my fiance and I have finalized our wedding in the Bahamas on April 22, 2013. Once, we got the details together obviously the next thing we had to do was alert all of our family and friends.

Now, sending and creating save -the-dates can be pretty costly. There’s the cost of photographers if you  are taking photos, whatever item you chose to put it on, envelopes, and stamps. Depending on the service you choose, announcement method you consider, and the amount of guests, things can add up very,very quickly. Consider, I am a MAJOR frugalista, spending loads of money on a wedding is just not an option. I refuse to go into debt because of a wedding. But I still wanted something fun, and different. We are beginning to think it was impossible considering our budgeting concerns.

And then I had a lightbulb moment. We should put our own talent to use by creating the save-the-date! Now, I’m pretty lucky in the talent department. I’m a dedicated writer, singer and dancer and my fiance is a very talented cameraman, producer, film maker and editor! It only made sense that we utilize our own skills. Well somewhere along the way, we downsized. We went from hosting a wedding spectacular public announcement filled with show stopping acts to a heartfelt journey through our relationship that just might make you tear up. I had a wedding to plan! I had no time to direct a full-out musical production. So instead, I designated the save-the-date job to my fiance. After all, guys never have much to do when it comes to wedding stuff. Here’s what we came up with:

Cute right? I think it’s totally worthy of being on some wedding magazine website like The Knot or Wedding Channel. Considering my last name is Huggins and his last name is Hart, we thought it would be nice to play on the “affectionate” names. Hence, the save-the-date title, Terms of Endearment Unite. I thought it was pretty clever…

What did you do for your wedding? Have you seen any other cute and unique ideas for Save-the-Dates and wedding invitations? 

TERRIfic Quip:  Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.

June 19, 2012

Learn to Bite Your Tongue

Have you ever found yourself in one of those peculiar situations where you just can’t help but say the wrong thing? Whether it be traveling abroad, attending a wedding, or enjoying a business lunch sometimes you just can’t help but find yourself with your foot in your mouth creating the most awkward and uncomfortable situations. While it may seem like common sense, some phrases and questions really are difficult to decipher. Sometimes it’s because the person just isn’t thinking. Other times the person just might be curious. Regardless of the reason, there’s no denying that people just don’t know how to act! It becomes even more obvious when you are the recipient of the unwelcome comments and tasteless questions.

Luckily, there is now help. After finding myself on the receiving end of way too many comments in poor taste (and been the one to unknowingly deliver them), I’ve decided to start an ebook series designed to help people avoid them. The series will include books describing what not to say in several scenarios such as weddings, at parties, when traveling, during lunch dates etc. Not only will the book provide practical advice on how to keep your foot out of your mouth, it will have you nodding in agreement, blushing with embarrassment and reflecting on past experiences as you see yourself in the scenarios. Check out the first installment here.

Oddly, enough I’ve found myself one too many times on both sides of the scenario. I will never forget the day I was shopping in the maternity section for a friend’s gift and chatted up a friendly woman in the store. We discussed pregnancy, how much it costs to have children, things to buy etc. We giggled and sighed as we shared a mutual hate for baby expenses. And as she analyzed some more maternity clothes I made the biggest mistake anyone could make by letting some dreaded words leave my lips.  “How far along are you?” Seems like an innocent enough question. Only problem is she wasn’t pregnant. I immediately got upset with myself for ruining what could have been a great friendship that started in the maternity section and turning it into the moment this kind woman suddenly second-guessed her appearance,  convinced herself to go into hiding and committing to a “no – anything that tastes good” diet. (Of course, I’m speculating but knowing that things really could have ran through her mind kills me.)

What makes it worse is knowing that anything you say from that point on could never make it better no matter how much you grovel or apologize. I will now forever be remembered as “the woman in the store that called me fat by assuming I was pregnant.” Needless to say, I’ve never made the mistake of uttering those words again. But could you blame me? We were in the maternity department and she was measuring maternity clothes against herself!

And then there were times that I was on the receiving end of thoughtless comments. Like the day someone mindlessly asked me why I have a boy name during a social event. Or the other time, someone told me I was too young to get married. And how could I forget the time someone asked if I had a job because I collect coupons and shop at thrift stores. Or the time, an acquaintance asked if my fiance is white. And the time….. Well, you get the picture. The point is we have stupid things said to us all the time, but we rarely acknowledge the times that we can be just as stupid. It’s about time that ends…

When have you made a thoughtless comment to someone that did more harm than good? In what situations do you find yourself on the receiving end of comments in poor taste?

TERRIfic Quip: Be your own advocate. No one can do it as well as you.

April 25, 2012

20 Things You Should Never Say to an Engaged Couple

Usually when I discuss weddings, I talk to the bride. But this time I decided it’s time I do something a little different and address  the friends and family of the newly engaged.  Don’t ask me why, but for some reason people seem to see an engagement ring as a sign to intrude. Once news of an impending nuptial spreads like wild fire, there’s no stopping the unwarranted comments the couple is bound to receive. Being on the other side, I get to see first hand how rude and upsetting well meaning comments from close ones can be. And trust me, they do get extremely irritating even if the person means well. Unless the couple looks like the newly engaged, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they probably aren’t prepared for a ton of prying questions and comments.

So do yourself and the engaged couple a favor by reading this list and striking these phrases from your vocabulary. Not only will it get you that much closer to the guest list, it will help you live to see another day since the bride and groom won’t have any reason to kill you.

1. Am I invited to the wedding?

Of course you are excited and want to be supportive of your friend. Asking about your impending invitations just puts the engaged couple in an awkward position.

2. Wow, your ring is so big! How much is it?

Not only is this inappropriate, it’s simply none of your business. Finances are a very personal matter and don’t need to be discussed freely with others.

3. Why get married? You’ve already been living together for years. What’s the point of it now?

This is just rude and plain intrusive. It also diminishes their excitement. No need to question the motives. Just be happy for them.

4. Did you know that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce?

Not only will you be passing around slightly false information, you’ll also be raining on the couple’s parade. Don’t be the one to make them apprehensive or less excited about the big decision.

5. I’m so broke because I’m going to your Caribbean wedding.

Chances are the couple are aware that a destination wedding will not be feasible for some guests, but there is no need for you to make them feel guilty about the decision. If you can’t go, just tell them. They are probably expecting a lot of declines anyway.

6. You should think about going to bridal boot camp.

This may be meant to be seen as helpful, but it might just make the bride self-conscience about her weight. The last thing you want to do is stress her out.

7. You’re engaged already? Didn’t you just meet?

Don’t question motives. A simple, “Congrats”, will do. Remember what’s right for you may not be right for them.

8. Are going to start having kids right away?

This is a very personal decision. Even if the couple does have an idea of when they’ll start family, give them some time to enjoy this major life change first.

9. Why aren’t you wearing a white gown?

Maybe the bride just didn’t want to wear a white gown. Are you trying to imply something?

10. Why wasn’t so-and-so invited?

There may be reasons you are not aware of such as financial hardship or family issues. Either way, it is inappropriate to ask and puts the couple in an uncomfortable situation.

11. Are you sure he/she is the one?

They’re probably already feeling a bit nervous about their leap into marriage. Don’t give them another reason to be.

12. Too bad (deceased relative) couldn’t be here.

A wedding is a joyous occasion. They last thing you want is to be the mood killer by reminding the bride that her mom isn’t celebrating with her. Keep spirits up and just enjoy the moment. Keep mention of deceased relatives to yourself.

13. But chicken is so boring.

Don’t complain. Just refrain from eating it and go for the side dish. It’s rude to criticize the couple’s choices.

14. Have you picked a date yet?

Seems like an innocent enough question but when asked by 20 people 20 times a day it gets very annoying. Trust when the couple decides on a date, they’ll let you know.

15. Who  is paying for all of that?

Personal finances are never any one’s business but the bride and groom. Just know that it’s not you so stay out of their wallet.

16. Can I be in the wedding party?

If they didn’t ask, than it’s safe to assume you are not in the wedding party. Accept it and move on.

17. Are you sure you want that to be the theme of your wedding?

It’s ok if you don’t like their theme, but you should try to hide your opinion a little better. It may further stress out the bride .

18. I can’t believe you’re eloping. That’s not fair to your parents.

In all honesty, it is their day. They’ve probably taken the possibility of hurt feelings into consideration. They don’t need to be constantly reminded of it.

19. At least, he/she looks better than your ex.

Any mention of an ex is totally not necessary even if it is an underhanded compliment.

20. I’m RSVPing… with guest

Unless your invitation says, “Plus one” don’t assume you were given the option to bring a guest.

Did I miss something? Have you been on the receiving end of rude comments? Or have you been the one to say something inappropriate to the bride and groom?

March 15, 2012

Be a Savvy Secondhand Bride

Can you think of a better way to spend $30,000 than on a wedding? So can I. That’s why more brides are going the “secondhand route” for wedding shopping. But don’t let sticker shock cloud your judgment. “Brides should be budget savvy, not budget stiffed, ” says editor Fri Forjindam “Second-hand” doesn’t mean you can’t have standards. You can find high quality used items at lots of shops and websites.

I asked experts for their tips on second-hand shopping. Here’s some highlights:

Consider Black: While ex-brides are mourning in dark colors on their “supposed-to-be” wedding day, you can benefit from it. Head over to Ebay and search for “canceled wedding.” You’d be surprised what may come up! But don’t forget to offer sincere concern and some (non-used) tissues.

Think Green: Being eco-savvy can mean more bang for your buck at Recycled Bride. Browse gently used accessories, gowns and decorations for a steal.Sign up for their email alerts so you never miss a deal.

Shop Pink: Be a true blushing bride by visiting a traveling charity gown sale for Brides Against Breast Cancer to purchase discounted new and used dresses.   You help your wallet and a great cause!

Shopping tip: Other than your bling, consignment shops are a bride’s best friend. You can try before you buy. Find one near you at consignmentshops.com

*Even if the store or website looks like an upstanding business, never make cash transactions. Stick to checks, credit cards, and Pay Pal so you can track and reverse sales if necessary. 

Fun Fact: According to theweddingreport.com, 89.4 percent of brides are willing to purchase used items for their wedding. 90 percent of brides are willing to sell items – especially accessories.


Say Yes to the (Used) Dress!

February 29, 2012

New Wedding Blog: The Un-Jersey Bride

I don’t usually publish post’s on a Wednesday, but I come to you today to announce the start of something I think will be big. It’s called the Un-Jersey Bride, a fabulous new wedding blog about New Jersey created by photographer and  fellow Jersey Girl, Feuza. No, the term “Un-Jersey” doesn’t not mean “Anti-Jersey”. It’s simply a blog showing you the side of Jersey you’ve never seen before. The side you’ve never known about but will love to apply to your wedding once you learn what it is.

This blog is breaking stereotypes about Jersey Brides and showing the world there is more to the Garden State than fist pumping during the reception. So leave the obnoxiously big hair, fake tans, and “stuck in the 90’s wedding themes” behind and head over Un-Jersey Bride. There’ll be wedding inspirations, location suggestions, attire advice, eclectic services, unique vendors and more. Plus, you’ll even see a couple guest posts from me. Spread the word; it’s about time folks near and far got to see what a real Jersey wedding is all about.

Don’t forget to visit the Facebook page and leave some feedback!

January 19, 2012

Casting Call for Brides-to-Be! Do You Want to be on TV?

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of going to my first bridal showcase as a bride-to-be. (I’m usually there for my own business endeavors and to make business contacts.) It was a nice change to go to a bridal showcase and actually be a bride and not an entrepreneur!  I had the pleasure of connecting with several businesses wishing to fulfill wedding day dreams such as photographers, performers, designers etc.

And then there was the casting director of a little show called Bridezillas. No, I don’t want to be a Bridezilla, but I love talking to people and asking lots of questions. I guess it’s the journalist in me. Anyway, the casting director explained there will be a new format to the show and a host for the new season. The best part is participants will be compensated $3,000 for their Bridezilla-esque behavior. Interested in making now the start of your 15 minutes of fame? Here’s the casting information taken directly from his flyer:

Bridezillas

We’re searching for Outspoken, Charismatic, and Funny Brides for season 9!

Are you a sassy yet classy diva who has high expectations and wants nothing less than perfection?

Are you an American princess who wants to have a royal wedding of her own?

Are you a socialite who wants all things extravagant and over-the-top leaving your guests buzzing about your big day?

Are you a former reality television star who wants to share their magical day with America?

Are you spoiled and want the wedding day of your dreams regardless of what others might say?

Are you obsessed with every detail of your wedding and feel no on understands your vision?

Are you fed up with your family, bridesmaids, and in-laws’ inability to get things right?

To be considered, email the below information to swatt68@yahoo.com.

For questions call 646-645-1855

  • Bride’s Full Name
  • City & State
  • Contact #
  • Email
  • Wedding Date
  • Wedding Budget
  • Wedding Website or Facebook Page
  • Tell us about a Bridezilla moment you’ve had since you started wedding planning
  • Who is giving you the most stress and why?
  • Give us your top 3 concerns or biggest fears for your wedding?
  • What kind of Bridezilla do you think you’ll be and why?

DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE A COUPLE PHOTOS OF THE ENGAGED COUPLE!

Brides will be compensated $3,000!!!

January 11, 2012

How To Not Let Wedding Planning Take Over Your Life…

Most people are aware that once a girl gets a ring on her finger she suddenly gets consumed with wedding planning. A lot of women even end up planning their wedding at their day job. For a while, I couldn’t understand why women get so obsessive about planning a wedding… And then I got engaged. With so much information being constantly thrown at you it’s no wonder all things weddings suddenly take over lives. Luckily, writing about weddings is just one of my many day jobs so I welcome the information. But for those who aren’t as fortunate and actually need to focus on something else every once in a while, here are my top tips for preventing wedding plans from taking over your life.

1. Avoid Pinterest like the plague.

I made the mistake of making a Pinterest account recently. It’s only been a few days and I’m already addicted. Why? Because the best photos and inspirations all happen to be wedding related. Who can resist all those pretty photos and pins that pop up so frequently? It’s like a drug and I can’t get unhooked. Save yourself while you can, and wait to join the bandwagon until after the wedding. If not, you’ll never have a non-wedding related thought for a while.

2. Only sign up for a few email newsletters and don’t have them sent to your phone.

You’d be surprised how often you get newsletters sent to your inbox on a daily basis. Imagine how much you’d get once you sign up for updates for three or more wedding newsletters. It’s even worse when you have your emails setup for you cell phone. You’ll be getting wedding updates 24/7 via two mediums. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid it. Take my advice. Nip it in the bud and limit the email subscriptions.

3. Stick to following a handful of your wedding favorites on Twitter.

Don’t overdo it by following 110 wedding planners and 15 college buddies. You’re timeline will be filled with nothing other than tiaras, themes, and bridesmaid dresses. Do yourself a favor and stick to following you top 10 to 15 picks. You can keep up with the other ones on Wedding Wednesday – that’s when they tweet the best stuff anyway.

4. Refrain from downloading any toolbar tickers or desktop reminders.

You know when your wedding day is. There’s no need to download every toolbar, desktop manager, and wedding ticker out there. You’d never be able look at your desktop calendar the same way again. Every click of the mouse would be wedding related! Make a promise and  stick to peeking at  that checklist and countdown by logging into your account on The Knot once every few days. Even if you didn’t, chances are you’ve already carved the date into you memory so you’re good to go.

5. Designate only two days a week to watch TLC or WEtv.

I’ve found that it is impossible to watch either channel without seeing a wedding related commercial or preview once every 15 minutes. But that seems to be the problem with most channels these days. And than of course, there are those constant marathons of Say Yes to the Dress, Cake Boss and My Fair Wedding. It’s never ending.

6. Stay away from tabloids and gossip shows

It seems like every week a new celebrity gets engaged these days. It’s only a matter of time until you get wrapped up in Halle Berry’s, Drew Barrymore’s and Jessica Beil’s wedding plans on top of your own. Trust me – you’ll never hear the end of speculation wedding reports once a celeb proposal goes down. Channel your will power and resist the urge to follow celeb wedding gossip.

Did I forget something? Did your wedding take control of your life or vice versa?

December 27, 2011

Catching the Bouquet Works

In case you were wondering, catching the bouquet truly does work. Yes, I speak from experience. I am proud to announce that on December 17th I became engaged to the love of my life for the past five years and it was all thanks to that bouquet I caught at an island wedding celebration during the summer. I remember it like it was yesterday…

On August 12, 2011,  I was fortunate enough to travel to the lovely island of Trinidad to fulfill my duties as bridesmaid for one of my cousins. In addition to the hot weather, I had the opportunity to enjoy late night girl talks, scenic limo rides, and that great walk down the aisle. But then the amazing part happened. The beautiful bride made a call for the single ladies to fill the dance floor. Of course, some were reluctant. However, three bridesmaids and five friends decided to be a sport and join in the festivities. Within minutes, the song  Single Ladies was jumping through the speakers and I found myself lunging for that floral prize that promised  a ring on my finger in the near future.  It paid off. Coincidently, at another wedding during the summer my intended caught the garter belt. Little did I know, it was meant to be.

Now some may argue that it wasn’t the bouquet that lead to my proposal, but the combination of my catching the bouquet and his receipt of the garter belt. Others may say that I just got lucky, and my cousin’s bouquet was just magical. Regardless of the reason, there was no denying that I caught the bouquet in August and four months later I became an engaged women.

So girls if you truly want to get engaged, you better dive for that bouquet like there’s no tomorrow. And to be on the safe side, make sure your hubby of choice does the same for that garter belt.

Needless, to say I will NOT be striking the wedding activity from the day when it’s time to celebrate the sharing of nuptials with my best friend.