Archive for May 9th, 2012

May 9, 2012

10 Benefits to Looking Much Younger Besides the Obvious

Considering I am in my twenties and I look like I am 14, I know how annoying it is when treated with little respect and have your age questioned on nearly a daily basis. And nothing is more annoying than venting about your age deficiency and constantly hearing, ” You’ll appreciate it when you’re older. I was the same way.” (I’m convinced the only people who say this are those who never really looked much younger than they are but only think they do in their warped minds. Otherwise, they’d understand how annoying it is and wouldn’t say annoying phrases like this.)  So I’ve been coming up with a list of benefits to make myself and other people like myself feel better about their appearance challenge.

 1. Knowing a person’s personality before wasting any time on them. For some reason, people really seem to show their true colors when they are in the presence or think they are the presence of children. I can’t even tell you how many people have treated me like a second class citizen when they thought I was a child. Boy is it fun to watch them choke on their words once they realize my age.

2. Nothing beats the look on people’s faces once you tell them all of your accomplishments and they look dumbfounded because they are convinced you are still in middle school. I have a lot of fun making people think that I really am a child genious that just happened to finish writing two books and  featured in national magazines.

3. You can get a way with a lot of things. When you are an adult and act like a bitch, it’s terrible. When you look like a teenager and act like an asshole it’s ok because it’s just those ranging hormones and you are still learning since you are still just a kid. Not to mention, you have an innocent and naive appearance so there’s no way you can be up to no good.

4.  You’ll always have one up on other women who actually look their age. I can’t help but gloat a little inside when I hear of women seeking advice on how to revert to that “youthful appearance.”  If I am lucky, it’s a problem I may never have to deal with. Odds are looking pretty good so far.

5. Picking out bars with the best security is easy. Chances are the places where the bouncers and security grill you on the authenticity of your I.D. is a little safer than those than don’t. You’ll know exactly which bars and clubs to avoid at 2:00 am when riding through Brooklyn with your girls.

6. High school kids continue to hit on you. No I’m not a pedophile or sex offender. Sometimes you can’t help but think that you still got it when a tender 15 year old steps to you to ask for a date. It’s a great pick-me-up on those days you actually start feeling old or like your losing your hot figure. Definitely on the right track to becoming a MILF. Beyonce and her post-baby body ain’t got nothing on you!

7. You save a ton of money on make up. Since you aren’t experiencing any signs of aging you save a boatload of money on wrinkle creams and skin firming lotions.

8. Watching G rated movies isn’t a problem. No shame in heading to the movie theater to see the latest kid-friendly Disney movie. Nobody would give you a second look since you appear so young and innocent. You’d fit right in.

9. The realization that you will always be old enough but look young enough to play a high school kid on TV for many years to come is like winning the lottery. Maybe it’s about time to give that acting thing a second try.

10. More fashion trends are available. Once you hit a certain age, it’s certain that some fashions are just no longer age appropriate. I mean who really wants to see a 37 year old wearing a tube top and low-rise short shorts? But if you’re 37 and look 22 you can still totally pull it off and hang on to all your favorite clothes for much longer. Plus it makes shopping just a tad bit easier…

Do you look much younger than you? Does it bother you?

TERRIfic Quip: Life is too short to begrudge getting older. Instead, I choose to celebrate another year of awesomeness.